North Korea, Best Korea!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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