Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize