david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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