You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize