Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
