I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
