goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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