hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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