He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize