and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
