tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
