No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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