Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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