dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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