She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
