is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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