I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
