Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
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oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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