Will you blow on my dice?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My bed smells like the plague
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
