So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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