You're completely useless in the revolution.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
