I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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