I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
