U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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