It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
