I heard we made out
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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