is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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