I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
