why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
