then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
