I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
