she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We have started to decorate penises.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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