i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
