So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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