it was like eating out sand paper
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
