you win again, gameday.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
