Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
