I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
