i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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