it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
