I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
