Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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