omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
