Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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