I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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