She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize