ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
