Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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