I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
