I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
