It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
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How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
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I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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