what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
