nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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