My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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