i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
