sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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