Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize