I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
