I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
