my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
