My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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